I just spent the day with two girlfriends before my husband got called away to work. I didn’t realize the overwhelming sense of loneliness I would I feel until my friend left.
My baby started to cry and so I fed her and put her to sleep. Im trying to distract myself with television but its not working. My mind occasionally wanders to booze.
The good thing is that I never want to drink alone again. I can’t stand hiding and lying about it. My drinking toward the end was so isolating and that is the last thing I need to go back to.
But my heart aches. I know booze is not the answer. But there is a piece of me that misses the "fun" part of drinking. The social part. The toasting at weddings, dinners with friends, birthday parties out, wine tastings at beautiful wineries, holiday festivities, etc. I miss participating in the drinking part of it. There are times when I want my old life before the abusive part of my drinking began.
I know a lot of members on here have expressed similar sentiments over the years so this must get better if not just simply change.
But honestly right now, if it wasn’t for the helpless newborn sleeping next to me right now, I would have ran off to the store.