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Double, triple, quadruple winner, very worried

Written by Darrin on March 20, 2019

Hi there — I am an alcoholic from a long line of alcoholics. My parents were alcoholics and I was in a 30 year marriage with an alcoholic whose parents were alcoholics. I stopped drinking and haven’t had anything for 8 months. I’m so grateful to have stopped and I’ve built a healthy, positive new life for myself.

I’m worried, however, about my son. I have two children, 19 and 26. My son is the elder one. I know that my alcoholism puts them in danger of becoming alcoholics themselves, but my daughter who lives in Texas with me is determined that she will never drink. My son, however, is a different story. He was an honor student and actually used to be a member of Athletes helping Athletes giving talks to younger students about the dangers of drugs and alcohol. That has all changed now.

Last month he was arrested for trying to break into a random home in my ex’s neighborhood. He was so bombed and blacked out that he thought he was at home and locked out. The owner of the house held him at gunpoint until the police arrived. He was charged with DWI because it was evident he’s driven there himself. I have no idea how.

Because he had just gotten a new job, we hoped that his license would be revoked and limited to driving to work only, but we were shocked and horrified to learn that that wouldn’t be possible as this was his second DWI. He never told his father or me about the first. He’s going to have to wear a bracelet that won’t allow him to drink at all, and he’ll have to take random drug tests. Whether or not he will lose his license remains to be seen. The thing is, He’s very blase’ about all of this and doesn’t believe he has a drinking problem In my years of drinking I never got a DWI or drove while intoxicated — I think that getting not one, but two DWIs is highly indicative of a very bad problem. I’m so thankful that he didn’t kill someone else or himself.

A few days ago he posted a picture on Instagram of himself with his friends, all of them drunk, with a caption joking about their drinking and the hangovers they were bound to have. I hit the roof. I don’t know how to reach him now. On one hand, my own drinking may make me seem like a hypocrite in his eyes, but at the same time, the fact that I’ve been a drunk gives me insight and understanding about what he’s going through. I wish I could convince him to go to a counselor or there=apist at the very least, but he is adamant that he is just fine. I’m hoping the realisation that he’s NOT fine doesn’t come with a tragic price.

Does anyone else have children who have begun abusing alcohol? I have to say I’m kind of surprised at my son. Back when I drank I always told both of my children how miserable it is to be addicted and I warned them to be aware because of their genetic heritage. Both of them always said that they would never drink because they saw what it did to me. I am looking for some way to reach him and get him into some kind of treatment. Any suggestions?

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