Most people who are psychologically sound want to be considered as persons of good character. It is part of self-esteem to consider yourself to have (known) positive qualities. While in active addiction I betrayed my instinct toward being a person of character, and while in depression I fail to see it. For me to foster my own well being I have to strive to behave in a moral fashion, and I need to recognize my good traits.
I have stated before that I base much of my pursuit of sobriety on the premise of values. When I am consistent in the pursuit of what are considered normative good values, I find that I am in sync with others and view myself more positively. I must be aware of the nature of the values that I choose to pursue to achieve what some refer to as good character, lest I find myself bound by contradictions of my values.
There are many characteristics that programs of recovery share in promotion of living a sober life: honesty, dependability, courage, and sacrifice. Some find the realization of Love as a demonstration of good impulses, in the love of family, of community, of those in need, and in other ways. We often form moral judgments on ourselves and upon others based upon these expressed characteristics.
One way that I know that I am in conflict with my character is that I may feel anxiety, that I become depressed, or that I have been called out on a contradiction. Please know that I have anxiety disorder and clinical depression, and that those require their own remedies, for me, to live a productive life. But when I am functioning well, in character, I am not mildly beset by the normal dis-ease or sadness that sometimes comes from living in a very complicated world.
I cannot avoid being selfish when I am drinking, and I have a know proclivity to act out of character when I do. I don’t want to live like that any longer. How I stay on the path of freedom from my alcoholic persona means I think on character frequently.
Does this make sense to anyone else, and how might I improve on these ideas?